what a beautiful day to not be in high school
1. wash your hair. It’s been 2 weeks since you’ve gotten out of bed. you’re crying too hard for a boy who doesn’t know that when you were born the doctors found stars in your bloodstream.
2. cheap liquor that tastes like peaches and bleach numbs the pain but it leaves you throwing up and I’m not going to hold your hair back so you can drink him down but he’ll come back up and burn your throat all over again.
3. He’s not worth the black outs and shaky hands. Eat something. He’s just a boy who pulled you in too deep. You don’t need him to save you. Get yourself out.
4. Latch your heart shut. save the key for a boy who wouldn’t mind picking the lock and make him give it back when he leaves, you are a hurricane, not a stitched up chest that he can rip open and let bleed every time he’s bored of misses your voice.
5. Wear the dress you wore on your first date with him every night this week. Make new memories in it so you don’t see him every time you open your closet. Leave it smelling like new boys wrapped around you and pretty girls kissing your cheek with red lipstick and cigarettes and city lights instead of him. You don’t fucking need him.
6. A hot bubble bath, tea, chocolate, a blank sheet of paper and paint can fix things for a night. I hope your bedroom becomes an art gallery. I hope you paint the walls and not your skin.
7. I still have love letters from my first boyfriend in the attic. You might not forget him but you sure as hell won’t always miss him. I won’t let you.
8. Sleep on the floor when your bed feels too empty without him. I’ll bring you extra pillows and blankets.
9. I’m sure he’s heart broken over you.
10. No, she’s not prettier than you baby girl, she’s nothing special.
11. I raised you to be the ocean not pools of blood on your sleeves.
12. He is not the same person you fell in love with. He doesn’t need your voice to fall asleep anymore and that’s okay. You’re in love with a stranger now. You don’t know him. He’s not the boy you kissed last weekend. So let him go. You’re not letting go of the boy you fell asleep with 3 months ago. You’re letting go of someone who doesn’t care if you fall asleep crying or not.
13. Don’t let him wipe away your tears. His fingers are razorblades and your cheeks will drip with blood. Don’t let him turn your freckles red.
14. You are the world. He’s lucky that you let him live in you for so long but he hasn’t been paying rent. Kick him out. He doesn’t deserve you.
15. You will find someone else to give yourself too, but not all of you, keep some for yourself.Things alcoholic mothers tell their dying daughters (via kngpvrk)
2.) School doesn’t make you learn anything except that people can be really mean. You won’t learn how to do taxes or vote or change the world but hell at least you can calculate velocity and bullshit a five page essay in two hours.
3.) You’re going to make mistakes and some of them will cause more damage and some of them you can’t fix. But that just makes other things happen and life throws a lot of curveballs at you that you need to make good things from. I promise it’s only as bad as you let it be.
4.) Kiss boys. Kiss girls. Kiss anyone you want and kiss people you don’t want to and cry about people who kissed people that weren’t you but never hurt yourself because of a kiss.
5.) Some days you won’t want to wake up or move. Some days, don’t. Most days, get up anyway. Take a shower. Sing. Pretend you’re happier than you really are.
6.) Don’t spend too much time hating yourself. Don’t act like someone else. Don’t waste time on pretending. Write love poems to you, from you and mean them.
7.) You’ll find yourself waiting for the weekend and waiting for summer and waiting for things to get better. Make them better and do not wait.
8.) Keep flowers always, wear whatever you want, hug as many people as you can. This is mandatory.
9.) Nobody knows what to do when you run out of toilet paper. Ask a friend.
10.) Never settle for less.
11.) People don’t always mean what they say or say what they mean. Ask a lot of questions and genuinely mean them.
12.) If they won’t hold your hand, don’t let them hold your heart.
13.) Nights are either the worst things or the best things. Sometimes you cry a lot and ask the stars why and sometimes you laugh and lay in the street. Treasure both.
14.) Things spoil when you try to force them to last forever. Appreciate the time you get with people or in places and don’t stretch it’s life longer than it needs to be. Not every friend will be with you forever. Know that it’s okay that way.
15.) Nobody understands their feelings. Write about it, paint about it, sing about it, dance about it. Cry about it. You’re not the only one who feels a little lost. Search for comfort in lyrics and poems.
16.) If your pillow isn’t comfortable, buy a new one.
17.) Nothing goes as planned. It’s beautiful though.
18.) People are going to hate you and call you terrible names but they don’t know what it’s like to be you and they certainly don’t deserve your attention. Pretend they’re sour milk. No one likes sour milk.
19.) Ever since you were born you have been working a full time job breathing and staying alive. You’re doing well. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
20.) Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. When you’re at rock bottom just know that your low may be low but there’s an equal and opposite reaction waiting for you someday. Soon enough you’ll be at the top of the world. Things I Was Never Taught But Learned Anyway (via alcoholings)